NY Diary...4

Day 4.

Our American friends checked out this morning and had one final "Love session" before going. I instructed the kids to be as loud as they wanted and even turned up Lady Ga Ga on the Ipad, before accidentally on purpose throwing a suitcase at the adjoining door. As we left, so did they and I gave them the type of look only a mother would give. They in turn looked mortified and practically ran down the hall to the lifts. Bless them (I'm only jelous).




We were off to Tussaud's today as The Teenager feeling very disgruntled that she hadn't bumped into the real Lady Ga Ga wanted her picture taken with a wax one. The Whirlwind complained that he hated the creepy wax figures and we had done it in London last year so why did we have to go again.(We still laugh at the fact the only figures he wanted his picture taken with were Stephen Hawkins and Gandhi). I explained that if he did Tussaud's we would go next door to the Ripley's Believe It Or Not exhibition straight after, this seemed to work and we headed off.




Once at Times Square we found it easily.....Then we saw the queue.....It must of been 100 people deep and a slight groan echoed from every ones mouths. "Never mind" I said cheerfully "It will go down quickly, come on". We went to the back and stood waiting patiently, I tried my best to engage the kids but any mum or dad reading this will sympathise with me. Once they get over the age of 11 Eye Spy just doesn't really cut it and I received "the look" from The Teenager when I suggested it. After 1/2 hour of not moving forward The Hubby decided he would go and ask how much longer it was going to be. On his return I noticed a strange smile on his face....."Errrmmm.......This is the queue for the bus tour....Not Tussaud's" he whispered to me........."What" I yelled back, "Yep...There is no queue at all for Tussauds, we can just walk straight in"................ARGHHHHHHH!!!!!

I decided not to tell the kids the truth and try and earn some street cred back after the eye spy fiasco, informing them that we could go straight to the front of the queue as we were from England and they had been so well behaved standing for so long. I'm not sure if the eldest believed me but I was certainly not going to correct myself.
Both exhibitions were brilliant and we all really enjoyed it......Some more than others!!!!!


On our way home The Teenager decided she would quite like a Yankees hoodie and The Whirlwind wanted a cap so we headed on in to The Yankees store. I remained outside as The Northern Mother had phoned to check up on us. After what seemed like an eternity I popped my head round the door and discovered the kids lining up to pay and The Husband standing watching the baseball on a huge TV in a slight sport coma induced state........Bloody Typical.

We had dinner at Applebees (which The Husband assured us was mentioned in a film he had seen). Great restaurant and very kid friendly, food was immense and I even had 1 of my 5 a day by having green beans....Trouble was they were deep fried.....Think I'm just going to go with it from now on.






We then had a slow walk around Times Square which was amazing at night time all be it very busy and very slightly intimidating with all the people dressed up as characters who then expected money after having your picture taken with them. Luckily we had our very own 007 escorting us.......Think he had also enjoyed Tussards a bit too much as well..........






Think we will sleep well tonight.
Come back tomorrow for Day 5.

Thanks for reading
Lots of Love
Me
xxxxx

P.S....The Whirlwind finally got his chance in a yellow cab......And The Husband couldn't say no this time. x











This post has been published a day after the Boston Marathon bombings. My thoughts are with all those that were injured and lost there lives as well as the families of those that have been affected by this terrible tragedy. God Bless. xx

NY Diary...3

Day 3.

Today was Monday and we all awoke after a slightly disturbed night due to Larry and Clare having extremely loud "Special Time". I was glad I had kept all the earplugs from the plane and made everyone shove a pair in to save any embarrassment. I had decided that if it happened again tonight I was going to knock and have a discreet word with our American neighbours.



Today was slightly different as we were splitting into boys and girls teams, myself and the Teenager were off shopping for prom stuff and the boys were off to The Natural History Museum and The Intrepid aircraft carrier exhibition. We walked together for a while and got accosted by a man trying to sell us a horse and carriage ride round the park, The Husband did his best at ignoring him but he was very persistent and practically followed us all the way down the road eventually telling us we could have the ride for free. As we said our final "NO THANKS" he told us to come back once we had ditched the boys and to remember his name.....Johnny Cash............"Yeah" said The Teenager, "and my dads Elvis".

Once we had said our goodbyes the boys headed off (still walking at this point, no cab was being hailed). Myself and The Teenager got our map out and made our was to 5th Avenue at which point she remarked how we would definitely find some prom shoes here.........I explained gently that unless Donald Trump was going to pop down from his tower and declare us his 1 millionth visitor giving us $100,000 there was no way she was getting anything from this Avenue. We decided to hail a cab and make our way over to Macy's then Bloomingdale's then the shopping mall. Shoes, clutch bag, clothes, more shoes and sunglasses were purchased (all by her) and I ended up buying myself........A keyring.


By 3pm we realised we had only eaten cupcakes all day (not a bad thing) and found a salad bar to have a late lunch. I must admit I loved it being just the 2 of us shopping in New York and was super impressed we didn't get lost once.






Once back at the hotel the boys arrived back with The Whirlwind declaring that "Dad has made me walk all the way back AGAIN" and promptly dropping his trousers revealing a terrible case of Denim chaffing. Poor kid was not only exhausted but in agony too.
Feeling bad The Husband announced that if we wanted room service and a movie tonight then that was fine. We all jumped at the chance and settled back to watch The Hobbit whilst stuffing our faces with Macaroni cheese, hamburgers and chicken wings........................I am not confident we will fit on the plane home at this stage.

Another great day in this wonderful city had been had by all and we were all exhausted but extremely happy.

Come back tomorrow for Day 4.

Thanks for reading
Lots of love
Me
xxxx

NY Diary...2

Day 2.

Today was The Husbands day and he had a jam packed itinerary for us. First was Ground Zero which was thoroughly moving and we all felt very sad whilst looking at all of the hundreds of names engraved around the edge of the memorial waterfalls.








We then walked to see the Statue of Liberty which proved to be a jolly exciting moment for The Whirlwind as he had always wanted to see her ever since Ghost Busters the movie.
At one point I had to practically rip The Teenager away from some very dubious looking man who was selling sunglasses from a sheet.....any excuse to shop.



Then we were off to Wall Street where I suddenly realised that my toe was really hurting, not only was it hurting it was bleeding too. I leapt into full mummy mode and found a pharmacy purchasing some plasters and a pair of toenail clippers as I feared it might of been my little toe nail digging in. (I must explain at this point that I am not some grungy women who allows her toenail to grow to extraordinary lengths.) I have a very unfortunate little toe that looks like a little alien stuck on the end of my foot, it has a horrible little nail that sometimes digs in to my next toe.
Once my suspicions had been confirmed I found a suitable place to snip and cover my wound. Unfortunately I chose the steps of the Husbands company to do this medical procedure and only realised this as we stood up to leave, he then worried that they might of had face recognition and would get sacked for defiling the company steps by showing my alien toe......I put this moment of insanity down to the fact he was still in some type of shock about the taxi ride.

We stopped at a Diner for lunch and ate our entire body weights in pancakes, bacon and maple syrup. The Whirlwind commented in a very loud voice that "Its a good job we don't live here or else we would be as fat as houses" it was at this point a sudden hush swept over the Diner as all eyes glared at us......"Check please".





Grand Central was next (I wonder if you are exhausted reading this as we were walking it) and I had to remind the kids there wouldn't be any wild animals running round just in case they were expecting a scene from Madagascar the movie. The Whirlwind was hoping to see the famous clock stuck on a giraffes head and a hippo dancing around.




The New York Library was next and they both stood at the top of the steps actually hugging each other...This city is having a remarkable effect on them. Actually looking at this picture I now see that he is hugging her....At least she is smiling.
As we arrived back at the hotel after walking the whole way home (Hubby was doing anything not to get in a cab again) we hobbled in like we had just run the marathon with no training. The kids were moaning, I was moaning and The Husband was elated at the completion of his agenda.










Finished the evening off with a foot soak before going out to a gorgeous place for dinner. Whirlwind was thrilled when his burger was bigger than his head and The Teenager was overjoyed at no only having free Wifi but the waiter asking her if she was a model.........The Husband at this point muttered something about cheesy lines and proceeded to shoot him filthy looks all evening.

Day 2 had been exhausting but brilliant and I could not wait to get on with the next day.

Come back tomorrow for Day 3.

Thanks for reading
Lots of Love
Me
xxxx

NY Diary..1

Yippppppeeeee !!! I said out loud as we landed in the good old U S of A. I wanted to be excited about our forthcoming holiday, wanted to join in with the kids enthusiasm and should of been getting butterflies in my tummy but all I could think was "Thank God that plane journey is over".

The 7 1/2 hour flight had felt like 4 days but I had made it.....And, I had made it with no tears. This had been mainly down to being upgraded for no apparent reason other than they had to fill the business section and the Hubby had a shed load of air mile thingys. And what a difference it made, nicer seats, pillows, many complementary drinks and a big newspaper that I always find impossible to read as its so large and flappy.

The flight was completely smooth with no hint of turbulence which I convinced myself was because we were in the "poshish" section. As we landed and began our departure of the plane I had this overwhelming urge to thank every air hostess that I could clap eyes on....A bit like when you have a baby and you feel the need to invite the midwives for dinner and feel they should be godparents to your brand new little bundle just because they helped you push a human out of your Minnie Ha Ha.....





As I reached the door I felt the need to express my thanks once more and said to the final air hostess "Thank you so much, it was a lovely flight, I'm usually terrified and that was the best plane ride I have ever been on" (I probably waffled on much much more than that as The Hubby shoved me from behind to hurry up) The hostess replied "Yeah funny that me too"..................WHAT!!! What the hell did that mean???? Was it just a fluke we had made it and was the flight on the way home going to be horrific????? Why would an air hostess say such a thing ???

After pulling myself back from the brink of a nervous breakdown I threw myself into the best holiday ever and even managed to forget the forthcoming flight home.

Rather than boring you all with lengthy memories in one go I am going to do a Blog type version and break it down into little chunks over the next few days.

Day 1.

Hailed our first yellow cab, journey involved being driven at the speed of light dodging in and out of traffic and included much slamming of brakes. The Hubby gripped the seat whilst checking the kids seat belts several times.
On arrival at hotel The Husband and Whirlwind had to sit down for 5 minutes to regain some colour in their cheeks and make sure the entire contents of their stomachs didn't suddenly appear before entering the hotel.



Room was great aside from an adjoining door to the next room which housed 2 extremely loud Americans who may as well been in with us.
By the time we went out we knew that he was called Larry and she was Clare and they were staying for 2 nights (this was as long as he got his head out of his ass and helped her unpack apparently according to Clare). Left the room to go exploring hoping they stayed angry with each other all night and didn't feel the need to "make up" later on.

Went to Times Square and found the Diners Drive Ins and Dive bloke of the telly (Aka Guy Fieri) restaurant to have dinner. Had our first taste of America with the most enormous dinner ever and encountered our first "Are you from Australia" comment from the waiter, not sure why they think we are from there but its something that tends to happen a lot. I then decided that it was because we were not talking like Wills and Kate and for some strange reason only known to me I then adopted her accent for the remainder of the trip.







We then had a slow walk back to our hotel to unpack and have baths etc etc....... Although we had landed at 12 midday it seemed like we ha been here forever and I was going to enjoy every minute of it.

Come back tomorrow for Day 2.

Lots of Love
Me
xxxxx

De-Stress Dad....The Final

The Husband awoke this morning too the sound of a cat being strangled....Oh no hang on....That was me singing Happy Birthday to him.

We had a cuppa in bed whilst he opened all his cards. It was a little strange not having the kids here but once I had phoned home to the The Northern Mother and discovered that they were both still asleep and probably very grumpy due to a very late night and too much sugar I decided that actually it was quite nice just being the 2 of us for a change.




We headed off for breakfast and got accosted by an elderly gentleman named Herbert who was in his 90's. He then proceeded to tell us how he single handedly fought off the Germans at Normandy and how he now lives his life to the full and was a multi millionaire. The Husband (who loves all that war stuff) found it all very interesting, I on the other hand was starving and was desperate to get some food inside of me before I wasted away .....( oh if only).

My ears did slightly prick up when he introduced us to his wife Cindy who was 26 if a day and was from Thailand. He clearly adored her and she in turn may of adored him but we sensed it may of been of been something else that she loved.

We discovered that they were staying for a month and that she was spending most of her days having various treatments while he just milled around chatting to people. This did make me wonder if she might of been older than 26 and had just had so much collagen that she just looked younger.

Each to their own and all that !!

As I write this final post we are sitting outside in the most comfortable sofas ever drinking coffee. Cindy and Herbert have just got into the jacuzzi and The Husband has announced that if he has to look at her fornicating over him for much longer he may bring his breakfast back.

Personally I think he's just jealous.





Final Word Time.
This place is amazing and holds people from all walks of life. There are loads of couples, groups of women and even a few people on their own. There are a few gorgeous people here who are recovering from illnesses and are staying here for 6 months or more. I have even seen a couple of famous faces and many not so famous faces.

It is certainly not cheap but it has been worth every saved up penny.

I now find myself in a totally awful situation/dilemma. Do I come back next year with The Northern Mother and friends or do I come back with now fully converted Hubby who has had so many treatments I fear he may turn into a woman.

DECISIONS DECISIONS.....Well, I don't really have a choice do I.........

I will have to try and do both.............Good God I better get saving now.





Thanks for reading

Lots of Love
Me xxxxxxxxxxx

De-Stress Dad..Day 2.

After a less than restful night due to The Husband being so relaxed he snored like a Wilder beast with chronic asthma (even with my earplugs in I could still hear him), I thought about sleeping in the lounge area on the sofa or even in the copper swing outside but then realise that I would then have to get up to hit him instead of just rolling over and doing it.

We headed down for breakfast in our robes, it still feels a little strange all this wandering about in a dressing gown. I keep having these urges to flash someone just to see their faces but decide against it in the name of health and safety.

As I write this post we are sitting in a sort of conservatory area which over looks the outdoor jacuzzi, The Husband is contemplating getting in and I have decided I will just dangle my feet in due to the spray tan I had yesterday. He sits on one side and I on the other in our robes"are you getting in then?" I say to him. "Nahhh, think I will just paddle like you" he replies. This all went a bit wrong when an enormous lady gets in and creates a tidal wave that soaks our bottoms and robes. She is oblivious to the sogginess of us and we leave mumbling under our breaths.

It is now 12.55 and we are waiting for our therapists.....The Husband has no idea that I have booked him a different kind of massage (after he moaned that there was no way any of the girls here could give him the type of massage he liked).....So I had organised a deep tissue one administered by a Russian sounding lady.......He can sense something is going on as I try not to snigger.........12.58...Its nearly time.....1 O'clock...Here we go..............

To say I am disappointed it an understatement, I imagined a kind of Ma Larkin/Russian Shot putter type of person but the lady that emerged was far from that. In its place was a tiny Chinese women in her late 60's who looked remarkably like the baddie from Johnny English Reborn. My devious plan had fallen flat on its face and the only thing I was grateful for was that I hadn't told him before hand.




I sat feeling quite deflated (Oh how I wish my tummy would feel deflated) whilst I waited for him to come out, suddenly a figure appeared from behind a door. It was to be a sight that forced me to clasp my hand over my mouth to stop any escaping laughter.
There he was, walking as if he had just done 10 rounds with Mike Tyson. His shoulders were hunched and he had a sort of rabbit in the headlights look about him. His Chinese counterpart went to shake his hand and say goodbye but he almost recoiled at the thought of touching her and just said thanks.

As we walked......Well he kind of hobbled.......He exclaims that although she was small she had the strength of Godzilla and the speed of Maradona. He had wanted a deep tissue massage and boy had he got one.

I suggested a gentle walk outside in the grounds to unwind but strangely he declined.

The motto of this tale is.....Be very careful what you wish for...

See you tomorrow for the final part.

Lots of Love
Me
xxxxx

De-Stress Dad Time..Day 1

After a slightly fraught journey to our destination due to The Husband yelling at me that after 4 years of coming here I should know the way by now. That in itself is a total joke, if you read my past blog called Don't Follow Me I'm Lost Too  you will see that very rarely (and I mean rarely...like only if mine of one of the family's life depended on it) do I actually drive anywhere that is not within my own town. So expecting me to take notice when I am a passenger is beyond crazy.

All tensions are forgotten as we enter the sweeping driveway to our little bit of paradise for the next 3 days. The Husband does a little sigh and the relaxation starts to very slowly creep into his brain.

Once checked in we head off to lunch followed by a quick tour of the place. It is quite a long walk round and The Husband suddenly announces that he can already feel his tummy expanding after the pulse heavy lunch.......OMG I THINK HE'S GONNA BLOW !!

We both sit patiently for our therapist to arrive and we happily chat and giggle about wind..AGAIN...I can see a pattern of conversation emerging.

As the clock strikes 3pm a wave of rather beautiful looking ladies appear like magic. Here they are, the little angels who will bring my Husband back from the deep realms of stress and hopefully ease some of his anxiety.



It is at this stage that I notice The Husbands face, I am not entirely sure if he's still worrying about his wind problem or in fact the delight that may be hidden beneath his frown lines at actually being given permission by his wife to go off with these size nothing blonde girls in a dark room and be touched by them. I quickly put this out of my mind (as a Taurean, jealously is not a good side of me).

After 55 minutes of sheer pleasure....(He has had an Indian Head Massage and I have had the slightly gentler Head In the Clouds massage) we meet back in the waiting area. As he wanders through the door I am conscious of the fact that he looks like he has been smoking something naughty, eyes are glazed and a dopey grin has emerged on his face. "I think I might need to sit down" he says "am I supposed to be feeling this relaxed". In my Taurean head I want to say "well that depends on what she did" but shake myself and just laugh.

Currently sitting by the pool now watching him plod up and down whilst making a terrible Water Polo right arm splash (they all do this). Have just noticed some bubbles come up from behind him.........Oh No!!! ........

Come Back Tomorrow For Part 2.

Love Me
xx