De-Stress Dad....The Final

The Husband awoke this morning too the sound of a cat being strangled....Oh no hang on....That was me singing Happy Birthday to him.

We had a cuppa in bed whilst he opened all his cards. It was a little strange not having the kids here but once I had phoned home to the The Northern Mother and discovered that they were both still asleep and probably very grumpy due to a very late night and too much sugar I decided that actually it was quite nice just being the 2 of us for a change.




We headed off for breakfast and got accosted by an elderly gentleman named Herbert who was in his 90's. He then proceeded to tell us how he single handedly fought off the Germans at Normandy and how he now lives his life to the full and was a multi millionaire. The Husband (who loves all that war stuff) found it all very interesting, I on the other hand was starving and was desperate to get some food inside of me before I wasted away .....( oh if only).

My ears did slightly prick up when he introduced us to his wife Cindy who was 26 if a day and was from Thailand. He clearly adored her and she in turn may of adored him but we sensed it may of been of been something else that she loved.

We discovered that they were staying for a month and that she was spending most of her days having various treatments while he just milled around chatting to people. This did make me wonder if she might of been older than 26 and had just had so much collagen that she just looked younger.

Each to their own and all that !!

As I write this final post we are sitting outside in the most comfortable sofas ever drinking coffee. Cindy and Herbert have just got into the jacuzzi and The Husband has announced that if he has to look at her fornicating over him for much longer he may bring his breakfast back.

Personally I think he's just jealous.





Final Word Time.
This place is amazing and holds people from all walks of life. There are loads of couples, groups of women and even a few people on their own. There are a few gorgeous people here who are recovering from illnesses and are staying here for 6 months or more. I have even seen a couple of famous faces and many not so famous faces.

It is certainly not cheap but it has been worth every saved up penny.

I now find myself in a totally awful situation/dilemma. Do I come back next year with The Northern Mother and friends or do I come back with now fully converted Hubby who has had so many treatments I fear he may turn into a woman.

DECISIONS DECISIONS.....Well, I don't really have a choice do I.........

I will have to try and do both.............Good God I better get saving now.





Thanks for reading

Lots of Love
Me xxxxxxxxxxx

De-Stress Dad..Day 2.

After a less than restful night due to The Husband being so relaxed he snored like a Wilder beast with chronic asthma (even with my earplugs in I could still hear him), I thought about sleeping in the lounge area on the sofa or even in the copper swing outside but then realise that I would then have to get up to hit him instead of just rolling over and doing it.

We headed down for breakfast in our robes, it still feels a little strange all this wandering about in a dressing gown. I keep having these urges to flash someone just to see their faces but decide against it in the name of health and safety.

As I write this post we are sitting in a sort of conservatory area which over looks the outdoor jacuzzi, The Husband is contemplating getting in and I have decided I will just dangle my feet in due to the spray tan I had yesterday. He sits on one side and I on the other in our robes"are you getting in then?" I say to him. "Nahhh, think I will just paddle like you" he replies. This all went a bit wrong when an enormous lady gets in and creates a tidal wave that soaks our bottoms and robes. She is oblivious to the sogginess of us and we leave mumbling under our breaths.

It is now 12.55 and we are waiting for our therapists.....The Husband has no idea that I have booked him a different kind of massage (after he moaned that there was no way any of the girls here could give him the type of massage he liked).....So I had organised a deep tissue one administered by a Russian sounding lady.......He can sense something is going on as I try not to snigger.........12.58...Its nearly time.....1 O'clock...Here we go..............

To say I am disappointed it an understatement, I imagined a kind of Ma Larkin/Russian Shot putter type of person but the lady that emerged was far from that. In its place was a tiny Chinese women in her late 60's who looked remarkably like the baddie from Johnny English Reborn. My devious plan had fallen flat on its face and the only thing I was grateful for was that I hadn't told him before hand.




I sat feeling quite deflated (Oh how I wish my tummy would feel deflated) whilst I waited for him to come out, suddenly a figure appeared from behind a door. It was to be a sight that forced me to clasp my hand over my mouth to stop any escaping laughter.
There he was, walking as if he had just done 10 rounds with Mike Tyson. His shoulders were hunched and he had a sort of rabbit in the headlights look about him. His Chinese counterpart went to shake his hand and say goodbye but he almost recoiled at the thought of touching her and just said thanks.

As we walked......Well he kind of hobbled.......He exclaims that although she was small she had the strength of Godzilla and the speed of Maradona. He had wanted a deep tissue massage and boy had he got one.

I suggested a gentle walk outside in the grounds to unwind but strangely he declined.

The motto of this tale is.....Be very careful what you wish for...

See you tomorrow for the final part.

Lots of Love
Me
xxxxx

De-Stress Dad Time..Day 1

After a slightly fraught journey to our destination due to The Husband yelling at me that after 4 years of coming here I should know the way by now. That in itself is a total joke, if you read my past blog called Don't Follow Me I'm Lost Too  you will see that very rarely (and I mean rarely...like only if mine of one of the family's life depended on it) do I actually drive anywhere that is not within my own town. So expecting me to take notice when I am a passenger is beyond crazy.

All tensions are forgotten as we enter the sweeping driveway to our little bit of paradise for the next 3 days. The Husband does a little sigh and the relaxation starts to very slowly creep into his brain.

Once checked in we head off to lunch followed by a quick tour of the place. It is quite a long walk round and The Husband suddenly announces that he can already feel his tummy expanding after the pulse heavy lunch.......OMG I THINK HE'S GONNA BLOW !!

We both sit patiently for our therapist to arrive and we happily chat and giggle about wind..AGAIN...I can see a pattern of conversation emerging.

As the clock strikes 3pm a wave of rather beautiful looking ladies appear like magic. Here they are, the little angels who will bring my Husband back from the deep realms of stress and hopefully ease some of his anxiety.



It is at this stage that I notice The Husbands face, I am not entirely sure if he's still worrying about his wind problem or in fact the delight that may be hidden beneath his frown lines at actually being given permission by his wife to go off with these size nothing blonde girls in a dark room and be touched by them. I quickly put this out of my mind (as a Taurean, jealously is not a good side of me).

After 55 minutes of sheer pleasure....(He has had an Indian Head Massage and I have had the slightly gentler Head In the Clouds massage) we meet back in the waiting area. As he wanders through the door I am conscious of the fact that he looks like he has been smoking something naughty, eyes are glazed and a dopey grin has emerged on his face. "I think I might need to sit down" he says "am I supposed to be feeling this relaxed". In my Taurean head I want to say "well that depends on what she did" but shake myself and just laugh.

Currently sitting by the pool now watching him plod up and down whilst making a terrible Water Polo right arm splash (they all do this). Have just noticed some bubbles come up from behind him.........Oh No!!! ........

Come Back Tomorrow For Part 2.

Love Me
xx

Final Day

Awoke at 5am to begin Operation Nab The Good Sun Beds. It never ceases to amaze me many people are up at the same time doing the same thing. The plus side to getting up at ridiculous O'clock is that you get to see the most beautiful sunrises. The Husband and I sit on the balcony and chat away with a cuppa.

We sit and watch the hotel opposite us as people gradually come out onto their balconies like little birds in nesting boxes. Each person has their own story, some happy and some sad. People just fascinate me, think they always have. Some like to train/bird watch but I like to People Watch.

As we sat there a Chinese couple walk below us and suddenly stop dead in their tracks, they look at each other and promptly begin a very passionate embrace. At one point we actually thought they were going to go the whole way. Their moment was spoilt by The Whirlwind who flung the patio doors open and exclaimed that he had just done the biggest poo ever and that he felt much lighter today.

The Husband and I who already felt like a couple of voyeurs dived inside before they looked up and saw us watching. I wondered afterwards what had prompted this sudden display of affection by them. It was then that i remembered those early days in a relationship when having a snog whenever and wherever you wanted was OK and a reason wasn't needed. It might of been a certain look or a compliment that started it and it didn't matter who was watching.

These days a moment of passion is a usually found when we don't have those things known as The Human Birth Controls AKA The Kids around.

Today is our last day and tomorrow morning we will head home with heavy hearts. My 1st impressions were one of horror but I have to say we have had the most amazing time away together. The all inclusive thing was hard to get used to and when you left the hotel you had the feeling that there was always a small chance that you may get shot in the back by a man in a watch tower who had seen you escape.

The staff have been amazing and I have completely changed my opinion of The Entertainment Team who work tirelessly to stop any one from the age of 3-18 getting bored. The food has been of such a high quality with so much choice that some evenings your only problem was what to have. Never mind the suitcases being to heavy, I think The Husband and I will need the Heavy Load stickers.

So as I sit here writing my holiday diary for the last time I am struck by what a gorgeous family I have and how lucky I am to spend these precious times with them. Someone asked me this week if I was writing a book "No" was my reply "I am just making sure I never forget all these amazing events that happen in my life before my kids grow up and the memories start to fade".

I'm off now to have one last family swim in the sea before dinner. Tomorrow my nerves will return as we board the plane again and bid farewell to Cyprus.

I hope you haven't been too bored following my travels and have enjoyed it as much as I have writing it.

Good Bye for now, see you back in good old Blighty.

Lots of Love
Me xxxxxxx

Day 6....Heavy Load.

The Whirlwinds heat rash seems slightly better today. Probably because I smothered him in Calamine lotion last night.

A quiet day was had by all today. The Husband nodded off into a full deep power nap only to wake himself up by doing the most enormous full body twitch and nearly falling off of his bed. This resulted in me and most of the people around us laughing until we couldn't breath.





The Whirlwind has made friends with all of the waiters who call him "The Boss".......Good observational skills on their part then.

The Husband went to the departure meeting this afternoon with the Reps Kayleigh & Vicki. Who informed him of the strict procedures when leaving Paphos Airport.






I probably should of mentioned that when we checked in at Gatwick our bags were classed as too heavy to go through the normal check in desk and had to go on another one round the corner for Heavy Loads. We got to have stickers on our bags to warn the baggage handlers of their weight. Unfortunately they are not so lenient in Cyprus and if you have too much in your case you will have to leave stuff there....End of.

This resulted in us having to buy another case whilst there and distributing the weight more evenly. We then had to pack a day early so that we could weigh them downstairs with the reps. NIGHTMARE !!!

I was going to unpack again but decided that it wasn't worth it for 1 day and we could live out of the suitcases for a day.

The plus side is that I have nothing to do tomorrow except enjoy our last day on holiday.

Tonight we went for a lovely walk and The Teenager took some amazing shots of the sunset. The Husband got all romantic and took me in his arms and began to dance with me, this was all going great until he decided to dip me.............The outcome of this endeavour is a very sore back for me now.

Its boiling tonight so off to sleep for me. Night night.

xxxxxx

Day 5....Chain Reaction

The Whirlwind has woken up with a bad case of prickly heat so a day in the shade wearing his newly purchased I LOVE THIS CRAZY PLACE t-shirt will be in order today. I would imagine there will be quite a lot of "I'm itchy" today.

The Husband and I have been able to snatch the odd 10 minutes here and there alone time in the pool. This is a family pool and many activities go on in here. We just went in to cool off and watch the final minutes of a very badly played Water Polo match when The Husband kissed me on the back of my neck, I returned this display of affection by kissing him on the lips and pinching his bottom.
As we got out of the pool Mrs Miserable informed us that although it was nice to see couples "our age" being affectionate we really should go into the adults only pool as there were children around.

W.H.A.T!!!!! It wasn't as if we were doing anything 50 Shades Of Grey in there and quite frankly we have been over and looked at the adults only pool and I am not entirely sure if there's not a bit of wife swapping going on.

Talking of 50 Shade Of Grey, I have seen 11 women and 1 man reading it this holiday. Not sure if the bloke was reading it for a laugh or to get some tips. Put it this way, I did notice his wife looked permanently tired but always had a smile on her face. I have to say that I have read all 3 book now and after a while it all gets a bit eye rollingly "What...Again!!"

A trip to Paphos Harbour tonight sipping cocktails by the sea in a trendy bar was the plan.......Oh how wrong could we have been.

A trip to the surface of the sun was more like it, the heat was unbearable. Even an ice cream didn't do the trick due to the fact it ran down your arm before you had had a chance to lick it.








We sat in a bar for a while just to experience the atmosphere. The Husband commented on what a good idea it was that they had a machine that sprayed water onto the fans thus producing a fine mist into the air above us. It was at this point I noticed The Teenagers hair take on a life of its own...POOF!!! She went from Cleopatra to Diana Ross in 30 seconds. Anyone who has a teenage daughter will understand the trauma this hair situation can cause.

Not sure we will be going back to the Harbour any time soon.....Not unless they do a 70's theme night.

Back at the hotel now. Night night.
xxxxx

Day 4...Rola Cola

Have woken up this morning with 2 slightly black eyes as a result of the nose banging incident yesterday. Great!!!!

Have discovered the delights of Fanta Lemon, very refreshing in the hot sun. Only down side was that it gave you the most chronic gas and heartburn.

The Whirlwind has become addicted to the all inclusive as much as you can drink before throwing up Coke. I use the word Coke very loosely as its sort of more like Rola Cola/Schweppes soda stream. Am going to try to sway him onto the Fanta Lemon instead today.







The couple who were arguing yesterday are back beside us today. Think things have got progressively worse as he has moved his bed away from hers. He asked her if she would put suncream on his back to which she said quite clearly "NO" followed by a muttering of "I hope you blood burn" under her breath.

The Husband is contemplating buying The Whirlwind an inflatable for the pool. Had a quick look at it and decided that due to the fact it was as big as Free Willy it wasn't such a great idea and settled on a lilo instead.






Shirley and the gang are leaving tomorrow so she is busy organising everyone. She popped into town last night as her daughter had another baby back at home. They have called him Beckham after David Beckham but don't like the name David as its too plain. So she is showing off her latest tattoo on the other leg this time as she has run out of room on the right leg.

Off into town this evening to do a spot of shopping. Myself and a couple of friends have a tradition where whenever we go on holiday we have to buy each other the worst tackiest gift we can find and it must be under £5. Looking forward to this immensely and taking family with me this time so they can help.

Just got back from Operation Find A Shite Gift and I don't think they will be disappointed. Managed to find a truly tacky shop that had a lot of crystal in it. Found a statue of Achilles which would of been perfect but it was £30 so that was out of the question.
Finally settled on an ornate ashtray with matching cigarette holder (neither of my friends smoke by the way, so this makes it even more hysterical), a donkey carrying some bananas, an ornate teaspoon with a map of Cyprus on the handle and the best of the bunch.......5 mini shells with candles inside them .(Not sure how you light them as they are just going to roll around the table).





As I was laughing quietly to myself I suddenly heard The Whirlwind and The Teenager snickering behind the shelf. She had found a pack of Karma Sutra playing cards and was showing The Whirlwind who in turn exclaimed "Oh my good god, look at the size of......" you get the picture.
These were promptly snatched away and attentions were diverted to the sweet section.



Got the kids a couple of fans as a joke. The Whirlwind used his a bit to professionally and flicked it out like a Flamenco Dancer whilst dancing around the shop. The Husband rolled his eyes and said we should of got him something more manly like a football.......Cant see that being much good when you are hot but anyway.




Finished the evening off with drinks at the bar and the kids fanning themselves to keep cool.

My bed is calling me......Night night.
xxxxx

Day 3...Ouch!

This morning started well but went completely pear shaped when I had the most horrendous accident.

To cut a very long story short, The Teenager took herself off back to the room to get her book and after 1/2 hour I began to get a little concerned. The Husband and The Whirlwind were off snorkeling and I was alone with just my beach bag and my bottle of water. As any mother will understand there is a little voice that sometimes fills your head with crazy thoughts about where your kids are and things that might of happened to them. I am no different and convinced myself that she had been abducted and I would never see her again.



In my haste to rescue her I shoved my kaftan on and grabbed my bag and hastily stood up.....BANG!!! I smacked my nose on the end of one of the spokes of the beach umbrella. It went with such a bang I dropped like a stone back onto my bed and literally saw stars. After shaking my head I went to stand up again. This time I realised that I had sweat dripping from the end of my nose...Wrong!! It was blood. I sat back down again and pulled a little mirror from my bag only to discover my face was completely covered in blood and I had a gash the size of The Grand Canyon down my nose.

Luckily a lady at the next bed had seen what was going on and between us we cleaned my nose up and stuck a plaster on it to stop the bleeding. I think my pride was hurt more than my nose and I sat for a minute to regain some level of composure.
Just then The Teenager swans back over without a care in the world rabbiting on about how she decided to change bikinis and then her sarong didn't match. In true Teenager fashion in took her a good 10 minutes to notice that I was sitting with blood all down my front and had a plaster on my nose resembling Adam Ant.
She kind of looked around and then gasped "Oh my God, whats happened Mum". I relayed the story to her and noticed a slight smirk desperately trying to break free from her mouth. It didn't cross her mind that had she just gone up and come back down again I would not of stood up and bashed my nose.....Teenagers!!!


The Husband was slightly more sympathetic and checked to see if I needed stitches (which I didn't luckily). I spent the rest of the day wearing a plaster and received several strange looks from onlookers.

That will teach me for assuming that Shirley (see Day 1 Diary) would of punched me in the nose wont it.

The rest of today has been fine, except for a new family that have just arrived in our little peace of paradise. From what I can gather they absolutely hate each other, the kids look traumatised and bewildered by their parents. The reason I have come to this conclusion is because of the following conversation they had...

Her: "Can you get us some drinks please"
Him: "Why cant you get them, I have just started a new chapter in my book"
Her: "For gods sake, why are you so lazy?"
Him: "Because I work so bloody hard so you can come on expensive holidays like this. That's why".
Her: "Well don't worry because I am coming on my own next year".
Him: "Thank God for that....2 weeks without having to look at your miserable face and listen to your constant nagging"
Her: "Oh why don't you just go and drown yourself in the sea".

You can see why I think they don't like each other now cant you.

The rest of today has been spent trying not to laugh at other people nearly knocking themselves out on low parasols. Have counted at least 10. Of course I totally sympathise but was secretly hoping I wouldn't be the only one wearing a plaster on my nose.


Spent this evening at a Haagen Dazs Ice Cream Parlour across the road. 4 cups of deliciousness were consumed whilst we watch the world go by.

Myself and my sore nose are off to bed now. Night night.

xxxxxxxxxx

Day 2 Zumba Time

Day 2 began with a lovely brekkie and a dip in the strangely quiet pool. We have discovered that although the towels of Camp 1 are on the beds they don't actually surface until 12am for the women and kids and 3pm for the men.






The Entertainment team have stopped coming through the little white gate as asking us if we would like to take part in bingo, quiz afternoon and Zumba.......Yes that's right.....I said Zumba. I'm not being funny but who on earth would want to do Zumba when its 100 degrees. I have tried this popular past time once and ended up sweating like a horse in a disco so why they would think doing it at midday is beyond me. To be fair 6 people did take part but looked like they needed oxygen afterwards.

The Teenager and The Whirlwind are having a ball and dividing their time equally between playing in the sea, arguing, reading and snorkeling followed by a bit more arguing then a bit more reading. The Husband is enjoying doing nothing and keeps dropping of in a sort of Narcoleptic type of way. he has even stopped snoring which proves my point that it is definitely stress induced.

I am going a totally gorgeous shade of.....Freckled red and have burnt my nose thus resulting in me looking like Rudolph The Burnt Nose Reindeer. I haven't got a particularly big nose but its always the first thing that gets burnt.

We sat by the pool tonight and ordered cocktails. The Whirlwind exclaimed very loudly that there was one called Sex On The Beach which caused me to snort my drink out of my nose (CLASSY BIRD). The Hubby grabbed the menu before he noticed the Screaming Orgasm and The Harvey Wall banger and promptly knocked his drink all over my lap. We returned upstairs with the kids placed strategically in front of me in case anyone thought I had forgotten to put my Tena Lady in.





Whilst on our balcony the Entertainment team broke out into a Michael Jackson dance routine which to be fair was amazing. I wanted to show them my Beyonce All The Single Ladies but was stopped by the Husband. SPOILSPORT !!!!





Time for bed now which I must say I am ready for, funny how doing nothing makes you tired isn't it.

Night night for now.

Come back tomorrow for Day 3.

Lots of Love
Me
xxxxxxxxxxxx

Holiday Diary Day 1

Have decided to split my holiday diary into 7 smaller daily parts. Hope you enjoy them as much as I have writing them.

Well, we are finally here in Cyprus. Miraculously enough the flight was actually alright. I will never completely enjoy it like some people but on a scale of 1-10 it was a definite 7.
The air steward who was called Sebastian had been a contestant on the X Factor a few years ago and at one point I thought he was going to break out into a rendition of River Deep but a small amount of turbulence put pay to that luckily.

Once we had landed we headed for our shuttle bus which was to take us to our hotel. Our holiday rep Maurice (very Larry Grayson) informed us that due to budget cuts he would not be accompanying us to out destination and that he would run through the finer points before we left. NICE !!

We arrived at our hotel which was beachfront and set along the coastline with 5 similar hotels. As we checked in we were greeted by a German Shot putter called Eva. She welcomed us with the grace of a angry Pitbull and in an extremely effective manner gave us the rundown of where everything was and times of dinner etc etc...
She offered us a bell boy to take our luggage up but we decided that he looked so knackered we would do it ourselves. She in turn gave him a right telling off at looking lazy, quite frankly she could of lifted our suitcases and us up in one hand and carried us all upstairs.
Our suite was lovely, clean and bright and had its own little private balcony. The Teenager and The Whirlwind had separate rooms which was a complete blessing due to the fact they had just threatend to maim and kill each other in the lift.

We unpacked and headed off for an afternoon by the pool. It was at this point it all went spectacularly wrong...............

As I told you in my last blog, this was our first holiday abroad in 7 long years and we had really splashed out and paid a small fortune for it. We were expecting a family environment, peace, quiet and tranquillity. WRONG!!!!!

As we stepped out onto pool side we were greeted by the very opposite. The scene in front of us was not unlike a scene from the TV show Benidorm. Bomb diving kids in the pool, cigarette smoking tattooed welding women and to top it all off an entertainment team who were all on microphones encouraging the kids to find an adult and jump on their heads in the water.


As most of my friends know I used to be a closet snob but decided to come out as a fully fledged member of the "I LIKE CLASSY AND NICE STUFF" brigade. I am not embarassed of this at all.

We all stood like 4 startled rabbits staring out at the sight that greeted us. I spun round in the vague hope that we had by some small chance come out of the wrong door and we were in fact in the hotel next door. Alas "NO" was the answer to that.

The Hubby (sensing that I was about to have a hissy fit) quickly guided me over to one side and pointed to a large grassy area through a little gate which over looked the beach and was somewhat quieter.We walked quickly due to The Teenager sneering and The Whirlwind pretending to choke on all the cigarette smoke. As we went through the little gate we were greeted by.......Calm, peace, palm trees and the beach.
"Ahhhhhhhh" was the sound that escaped my lips.
"Ohhhhhhhh" was The Teenagers reaction.
"Yeeeessssss" squealed The Whirlwind
"Thank you God" whispered The Hubby

At that moment a group of people beckoned us over. These were other families and honeymoon couples like us who had paid a fortune and who had all experienced the same reaction that we had just endured. As I sat on my sun lounger surveying the scene It became very obvious that it was a them and us kind of situation. They didn't come onto the grassy bit and we didn't go on to the tiled bit.

Some of the families told of arguments over in Camp 1 when one kid had taken another ones lilo and the mums had squared up to each other. Others spoke of mums and dads having huge stand up rows because the dads hadn't come in until 5am. It all sounded like a scene from Shameless, what the hell has happened to people these days. Where have manners and being nice to other people gone. What a shame that some people think its OK to just do as they please without any cause for others feelings.

I have attempted to smile at the Camp 1 mums but have been greeted by dirty looks. This evening a breakthrough occurred in the ladies loo's. As I washed my hands one of the women came in from Camp 1. I smiled and looked away when suddenly........ "Hiya" she said, followed by "You are so lucky you are in the quiet section, we are desperate to come over but cant."
"Why not"? I said.
"Because we have come with a huge group of 35 and we will get lynched if we leave the group. Shirley is our group leader and she pretty much tells us when and where we are going" she replied.
"Oh right, which one is Shirley then"? I asked
"Shes the one with the tattoos of all her 27 grandchildren on her leg" she answered slightly smirking.
It was at this point I did my very best Actors Guild "How Lovely" kind of face.

As I bid her a goodbye I scanned the foyer for Shirley and sure enough there she was standing amongst everyone bossing them around. And yes she really did have 27 names tattooed on her leg going from the top to the bottom.
If I had been brave enough I would of taken a picture of her leg to show you all but I quite like my face and didn't want my nose plastered across my face for being cheeky.

So there we go, Day 1 over and done with. First impressions were one of horror but after settling in I think we will be alright.

Come back tomorrow for Day 2.........Who knows what will happen!!!!!


Lots of Love
Me xxxxxxxx

Olympic Dream Part 2

Our Tickets

I have no idea how to start this blog other than to say "WOW". That is the only description I can give to our day at the Olympics on Sunday. From start to finish everything ran like clockwork, the trains were all on time, we all got seats and everyone was so happy. The atmosphere on the trains and in London was electric. Hundreds of volunteers lined the streets to help you find your way to the Olympic Park and were all happy to welcome you. I was fully expecting it to be a bit of a nightmare travelling up there but I was proved wrong at every corner.


Once in the very strict security tents, which I have to say were better than some airports I have been too. We were greeted by many soldiers and police. The Teenager was quite in awe of the young guys all in uniform and I noticed that she turned several heads as she sauntered through the barriers to have her bag checked. She had gone for the Kate Middleton look wearing skinny jeans and a GB polo top with a pair of converse trainers. Being 5ft 10in with long brown hair down to her bottom she looks a lot older than 15. The Hubby was not impressed with her admirers and shot them a dirty look as we left.
As for me....well I had my own admirer.....one of the sniffer dogs took a particular liking to me....Think it was probably my cankles (definition= calves and ankles merged into one body part) that attracted him to me as he sniffed and licked me. The soldier in charge of him apologised and said he could probably smell my dog, but I still think he was thinking what tasty morsels my cankles looked.






As we left the tents and entered the park we were all taken aback by the size of everything. All nationality's were mixing together like we were all at this amazing party together. We sat in the rain and had lunch and laughed as I happily dunked my chips into a pot of ketchup only to be told it wasn't ours and it was from the people before....Ewwww !!



1pm came and it was time for us to go into the Water Polo arena, The Hubby was like a 5 year old and the smile didn't leave his face the whole time we were there. He met lots of old friends from the past all coming to watch the same thing. We were watching Australia V Italy and Hungry V Serbia. As we stood in the queue a loud voice echoed down the crowd....Someone was calling The Hubby's name, as we turned round a big Aussie bloke came running through and hugged us all. Turned out he was the guy that The Hubby had stayed with in Australia for 2 years whilst playing Water Polo. His son was in the Australian team and the whole family were over here to support him. The saying "What a small world" couldn't of been truer at that moment.

Once in the arena we found our seats easily and settled down to enjoy the afternoons events. I must at this stage warn anyone who is expecting a wholesome family written piece to log off now as what I am about to write and show you is not for anyone under the age of 18 or with a weak heart.

As you all know from my last blog, I used to go and watch The hubby play Water Polo all the time so you would think I would know what was coming ......How wrong was I.........The teams came out onto the poolside in their country's robes and all stood along the side of the pool to be introduced to the crowds.





They then turned round and began to de-robe. It was at this point it all sort of went in slow motion, I actually felt like I was at a Chippendale's concert (not that I have ever been to one) as they peeled of their robes and paraded up and down in front of us. The women in front took a sharp intake of breath and I noticed she was secretly taking the same pictures that I was. As she caught me looking she winked and said "not often you get to see that is it". I at this stage announced that I wrote a blog and my pictures were all in the name of research and that I had many people waiting to see the results. (Liar, liar pants on fire) screamed through my ears.

The seats we had were perfect as we were right in front of where they all sat waiting to get in the pool. I cant say I took much notice of the game as for some unknown reason my eyes couldn't leave the area in front of me. The Hubby at this stage told me to stop gawping and wipe my chin as I was dribbling. BUSTED!!!




I did at one point wonder what would of happened if I had accidentally fallen over the small barrier separating us and them and fainted in front of them. Would they carry me off into the changing rooms and attempt to give me the kiss of life or would they just all look at me and call the on site medics. Once I had spotted the medics I changed my mind immediately and decided that it maybe wasn't such a good plan and I should just sit in my seat and stop behaving like a dog on heat.

Strangely enough the matches went very quickly and before I knew it we were back on the train and heading home.

Anyway back to more family style writing......We had a totally amazing and brilliant time and I am very aware that I will never get to go to an Olympic games in this country in my life time again. I am so glad that I didn't listen to the people who told me that it was irresponsible to take the kids up there due to all the terrorists threats and that we followed our hearts and gave them a truly fabulous experience.

And I am glad that I was able to report back my findings (with photo evidence) about the different styles of Budgie Smugglers and how to wear them successfully. Think that this pair for instance have missed out the letter K after the word HUN.






I am off to add Swimming Pants Adviser to my CV and hope that one day in the future someone spots my keen eye for a good pair of pants..............I know, I know....As If...........But Hey.......A Girl Can Dream.

Lots of love
Me
xxx